Tuesday, December 16, 2014

                     Weather Quiz

Take our fun weather quiz and see how much you know about climate and weather conditions. The weather can play a big role in our everyday lives with rain, snow, wind, temperature and sunshine all affecting our daily activities.
The weather can also come in extremes with storms, tornadoes and hurricanes common in various parts of the world. Test you knowledge with our range of weather questions and answers and learn more about this interesting science topic.





1. A thermometer is a device used to measure what?2. Stratus, cirrus, cumulus and nimbus are types of what?3. What country experiences the most tornadoes?4. True or false? A rainbow is a spectrum of light that appears when the Sun shines onto water droplets in the air.5. Blizzards feature low temperatures, strong winds and heavy _______?6. Breeze and gale are common terms used to describe the speed of what?7. Earth’s recent temperature rises which have been linked to human activity is known as global _______?8. True or false? The highest recorded temperature on Earth of 57.8 °C (136 °F) was recorded in Tirat Tsvi, Israel.9. What is the name of a scientist who studies weather?10. What is the driest desert on Earth, the Sahara, the Kalahari or the Atacama?11. True or false? The lowest recorded temperature on Earth of 89.2 °C (−128.6 °F) was recorded at Vostok Station, Antarctica.12. Balls or irregular lumps of ice that fall from clouds (often during thunderstorms) are known as what?13. An avalanche features the rapid descent of _______?14. True of false? The most rain fall ever recorded in one year (Cherrapunji, India) is more than 30 meters.15. What is the name of a weather instrument used to measure atmospheric pressure?17. At what temperature is Centigrade equal to Fahrenheit?18. Trying to predict the weather is known as weather _______?19. The area of central USA that features many tornadoes is known as Tornado _______?20. True or false? You see lightning and hear thunder.16. An anemometer is used to measure what?



                 Weather Quiz Answers




1. Temperature
2. Clouds
3. USA
4. True
5. Snow
6. Wind
7. Warming
8. False (Al 'Aziziyah, Libya)
9. A meteorologist
10. The Atacama Desert
11. True
12. Hail stones
13. Snow
14. False (25.4 meters)
15. A barometer
16. Wind speed
17. -40 degrees
18. Forecasting
19. Alley
20. True

Peshawar school attacked by Taliban in Pakistan, in pictures

Pakistani volunteers carry a student injured in the shootout at a school under attack by Taliban gunmen in Peshawar
The uncle and cousin of injured student Mohammad Baqair, center, comfort him as he mourns the death of his mother who was a teacher at the school which was attacked by Taliban, in Peshawar, Pakistan
Rescue workers and family members carry the coffin of a student killed during the Taliban attack in Peshawar
A school boy who was injured in the Taliban attack receives medical treatment at a hospital in Peshawar

Women mourn their relative Mohammed Ali Khan, 15, a student who was killed during an attack by Taliban gunmen on the Army Public School. Taliban gunmen stormed a military-run school in the northwestern Pakistani city of Peshawar on Tuesday, killing at least 126 people, officials said, in the worst attack to hit the country in years

The real reasons why the Pakistani Taliban murdered more than 100 schoolchildren today

It is difficult not to wonder: why? Why did the group launch this unprecedented attack, and why did it choose to murder over 100 children in a single day?

There is no single explanation. But, beyond the obvious barbarity of the perpetrators, three factors seem to have driven the act. First, there is the Taliban's own explanation, that this was revenge for the military targeting their own families — though it seems unlikely that this is the real reason. Second, and much more plausibly, the group may have wanted to show that it was still viable, despite recent heavy losses against the Pakistani military. But there is also a third and potentially crucial factor: a power struggle within the Pakistani Taliban itself.

The Pakistani Taliban says this was revenge, but there's more to it

A spokesperson for the Pakistani Taliban, which goes by the name Tehrik-i-Taliban Pakistan, or TTP, claimed that the operation was carried out as revenge for army operations that had targeted the families of Taliban fighters. "Because the government is targeting our families and females," he said, "we want them to feel the pain."

It is unfortunately quite plausible that the family member of Taliban militants have been killed during the group's years-long conflict with the Pakistani military. The Pakistani military's use of bombings and artillery strikes virtually guarantee civilian casualties, and the military is not known for its pinpoint precision when operating in Taliban-dominated parts of the country. It is also plausible that the Taliban believes earnestly that the Pakistani military is deliberately targeting its family members, though whether or not that is actually the case is more difficult to say.

All the same, experts who study the Taliban believe that this is not actually the primary reason for the attack on Peshawar, and particularly not for an attack this brutal. Rather, they say, it is more likely that this was an attempt by the Taliban to reassert its power after suffering defeats at the hands of the military, or even an effort by a single faction or leader within the group to claim authority.

The Taliban, weakened, may have hoped this would be a show of force and brutality

In June, the Pakistani military launched a major and ongoing offensive against the Pakistani Taliban, deploying thousands of ground troops to the tribal region of North Waziristan in an attempt to root out militants operating from there. The Taliban's school attack may have been intended as a show of force in response to that campaign, a way to return fire and demonstrate the group's strength.

Pakistani's North Waziristan operation was a significant escalation against the Taliban. Colin Cookman, a senior program specialist at the US Institute of Peace who focuses on South and Central Asia, told me via email that the military's previous operations had been localized, limited in scope, and retaliatory rather than proactive: the army responded to specific attacks, but did not make sustained efforts to undermine the TTP as a group. This new operation is different. It has been sustained over many months and its goal is to prevent militant groups from operating in North Waziristan at all — a major step.

Perhaps the school attack, Cookman suggested, was the Pakistani Taliban's attempt to demonstrate that the military has not hindered its ability to conduct major operations. The school was run by the army, and so may have been the softest army-related target that the TTP was able to reach.

University of Chicago professor Paul Staniland agreed, saying that he believed that the school attack was the TTP's way of sending the message that the military operation had not destroyed it, and that it was still capable of inflicting damage on the military in the way that would hurt most.

The severity of the attack, in this thinking, could reflect the Taliban's feeling of insecurity — it would not need to go to such extreme lengths unless it felt it would otherwise be perceived as weak. And, indeed, it was the first significant attack by the group in months. At the same time, it could also show the group's rage at the military for its assault on the Taliban's home turf.

There may be internal Taliban power struggles behind the attack

The school's over 100 dead children may have also been the victims of something else: power struggles within the Taliban.

The TTP has split into multiple factions in recent months. A number of moderate factions have made peace with the government, Staniland explained, so that what is left behind is an increasingly radical core that is splintering into different groups. That process was accelerated when Maulana Fazlullah, an outsider who formerly headed a group of militants in Pakistan's Swat district, took command last year. He has been a divisive leader, causing the powerful Messud family to leave and form its own organization.

Competition for power within an armed group or between different splintering factions often leads to increased violence, as leaders jockey to prove their authority and improve their reputations by carrying out ever more audacious or brutal attacks.

There is some evidence to support this theory. Early indications are that Fazlullah's faction was responsible for the attack on the school. It may have been intended as a show of force to establish his faction's dominance. Likewise, the spokesman's statements may have been an attempt to claim the mantle of the TTP leadership by positioning the group as the defender of women and children from the Pakistani military.

However, Staniland expressed skepticism of the theory, noting that it would be extremely risky for a faction to use this kind of attack to establish that it was "in charge," because it is almost certain to prompt harsh retaliation from the military. And it may also cost the group whatever public support it previously had: Cookman noted that Fazlullah faced a significant public backlash when he ordered the assassination of Malala Yousafzai in 2012. Today's attack was similar, but on a far greater scale, and so may provoke an even greater revulsion — even the Afghan Taliban has denounced the attack.

Sharon Stone Biography

Film Actress (1958–)


Sharon Stone is an Oscar-nominated actress known for her roles in a variety of films, including Total Recall, Basic Instinct, Sliver, Casino and Lovelace


Synopsis


Born on March 19, 1958, in Meadville, Pennsylvania, Sharon Stone worked as a model before launching into film, landing roles in features like Irreconcilable Differences and Total Recall. She created major buzz with her scintillating lead part in Basic Instinct, with later roles in Sliver, Gloria and If These Walls Could Talk 2. She was nominated for an Academy Award and won a Golden Globe for Casino.

Early Career

Sharon Yvonne Stone was born on March 10, 1958 in Meadville, Pennsylvania. The daughter of a factory worker, Stone won a scholarship to Edinboro University of Pennsylvania at age 15. At Edinboro she studied creative writing and fine arts. Upon graduation, the Miss Pennsylvania beauty pageant winner decided to pursue a modeling career in New York where she signed with the Ford agency. By the late 1970s, Stone was a highly sought-after model, appearing in both print and television ads nationwide.

Stone decided to branch out into acting in the 1980s, making a number of television and movie appearance throughout the decade. She played the memorable role of Blake Chandler in the 1984 Golden Globe-nominated comedy, Irreconcilable Differences. She also earned laughs in the popular comedy film, Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987).


Breakthrough Role


Her breakthrough film role came in 1990 with the Philip K. Dick action thriller, Total Recall. Stone played Lori, the gorgeous but deadly wife of Douglas Quaid (played by Arnold Schwarzenegger). The film did well with fans, grossing more than $100 million at U.S. box offices. In an effort to promote the film, Stone also appeared that year in a Playboy magazine spread. Her photo shoot earned her a spot on the magazine's "Top 25 Sexiest Stars of the Century" list.

In 1992, Stone landed the unforgettable role of a bisexual murder suspect in the blockbuster film Basic Instinct. Stone sparked controversy for a particular scene in the film, which required her to cross and uncross her legs in a way which revealed she was not wearing underwear. While Stone initially claimed she was not aware of the level of nudity that would be revealed in the film, she later recanted.

The film was a blockbuster hit, and earned Stone Golden Globe and Saturn award nominations for her performance. She also landed on People magazine's "50 Most Beautiful People" list shortly after the film's release.

Career Highlights


Subsequent films, including Sliver (1993) and The Specialist (1994), did not fare as well with critics or fans. The lull in her career led some to claim that her success had more to do with her simmering sexuality than her acting. But Stone proved the critics wrong in 1995 with Martin Scorsese's Casino. The film won Stone a Golden Globe as well as an Academy Award nomination, and put Stone back in the limelight.

Following the win, she took on a number of dramatic roles including The Quick and the Dead (1995) and Last Dance (1996). She finished the decade with a number of uneven films, including Sphere in 1998 and Gloria in 1999, but received praise for her comedic performance in The Muse that same year.

Personal Life


In 2001, Stone encountered health problems after a severe headache turned into a brain hemorrhage. The actress recovered, and returned to the big screen in 2004 as the co-star of Catwoman with Benjamin Bratt and Halle Berry.

In the last few years, Stone has appeared in several smaller independent films including Broken Flowers, starring Bill Murray, and Bobby, written by actor Emilio Estevez. Her most recent project, Streets of Blood, is set to premiere in 2009.

Stone married producer Michael Greenburg in 1984. The couple divorced three years later. In 1998 she married again, this time to San Francisco Chronicle Executive Editor Phil Bronstein. The couple adopted a son, Roan Joseph, before their divorce in 2004. Since then, Stone adopted two more sons: Laird Vonne (2005) and Quinn Kelly (2006).

Sonakshi Sinha croons track for Tevar

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It's no rocket science to say that the present breed of actresses are absolutely talented and are simply raring to go. While the likes of Alia Bhatt and Shraddha Kapoor have already exhibited their vocal talents earlier this year in films like Highway and Ek Villain respectively, it's now Sonakshi Sinha's turn to follow suit.
Sonakshi, who had earlier 'sung' a couple of lines in the animated film Rio 2, has now wielded the microphone to do 'actual' playback singing in her upcoming film Tevar's track titled 'Let's Celebrate'. Speaking about the same, Sonakshi Sinha said that when the singer Imran Khan landed in Mumbai for the song's recording and she enquired to him about the female singer, wasting no time, he pointed at her and said that it was her! Even though Sonakshi had practiced the song only for four hours, Imran comforted her saying not to fret, but to copy him exactly. And the end results are there for everyone to see.
When asked about her competing with the likes of Shraddha Kapoor and Alia Bhatt in terms of singing, Sonakshi Sinha said that, for her, this song was just a one-off experience and that she doesn't intend to sing in all her films.

Monday, December 15, 2014

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Age limit for Diploma Engineering is 23 years as on 01-01-2015.

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a) Attendant Operator-Chemical Plant (AOCP)

Period of Training : 1 ½ Year
Qualification : B.Sc. Chemistry Main - Physics & Maths subsidiary
Age limit for AOCP is 25 years as on 01-01-2015.

b) Instrument Mechanic-Chemical Plant (IMCP)

 Period of Training : 1 ½ Year
Qualification : B.Sc. Physics Main - Chemistry & Maths subsidiary.
Age limit for IMCP is 25 years as on 01-01-2015.


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Vehicle, COPA, Plumber, Mechanic Diesel
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Freelancing allows IT professionals to earn extra and break free from monotonous work

NEW DELHI: The idea of choosing your work and not be a clock-watcher is tantalising and something Indian information technology professionals are increasingly getting to do, thanks to the numerous online freelancing websites.

These IT professionals see freelancing as an opportunity to do more challenging work and also earn a little extra at the same time. It also allows them to break through from the monotony of the facile work they do at their day jobs. "I started freelancing as it offered me the opportunity to add to my existing technology base," said Nikhil Maggu, who works full-time at an IT consulting firm, and takes up freelance projects in his spare time. "In a day job, you are often confined to the company's requirements for a project. With freelancing, you get to pick and choose your preferred domain."


The Internet offers a wide range of opportunities. Companies post jobs requiring freelance work on websites, such as freelancer.com, oDesk.com and elance.com. Freelancers then bid for them, and a percentage of the earnings goes to the website. LinkedIn, Facebook groups and recommendations within the freelancer community are also common ways to find work. India-based websites, such as freelanceindia. com, hifreelancer.com, wsession.com and oncontract.com, have not caught on much with the freelancer community, compared with the US-based websites. Some freelance jobs are also posted on Indian online marketplaces such as olx.in and quikr.com.

Most commonly, freelancers charge for their work by the hour. The cost varies from project to project and the kind of complexity and skill involved. Usually, those just venturing into the freelance arena in common technologies, such as web development, may agree to work for as low as $1 (Rs 60) per hour, but as they gain a strong foothold, payments can go up to about $30 (Rs 1,800) per hour. For highly specialised work, a group of freelancers might offer their services at higher rates, close to about $100 (Rs 6,000).

"The major challenges I have faced while freelancing are reduced payments, client demanding extra features that were not agreed upon before, a very strict and early deadline and sometimes no payments," said full-time freelancer Gopal Krishan Mittal.

Job listings are posted by individuals or small companies, while freelance website elance.com lists jobs from even bigger organisations like Mozilla and The Motley Fool. Though there are very few formal studies examining the penetration of freelancing in the Indian IT industry, websites facilitating these jobs say India is one of their biggest markets. "In 2013, India was the top freelancer country based on dollars," said a spokeswoman for freelancing website oDesk.com, which was acquired by elance.com last year.

As the demand for IT-related services increases, companies are also becoming comfortable working with freelancers. "There is demand for specialised IT skills and, in fact, the difficulty of finding specific tech skills locally is often what drives people to hire online," said the oDesk.com spokeswoman. While there are examples of IT professionals taking up freelancing as a full-time career option in India, these are few and far between, unlike in developed countries.

"Freelancing from an Indian context is largely looked at as a second income option for those already in fulltime employment," said Ikya Human Capital Solutions Chief Operating Officer TS Krishna Kumar. "However as time progresses and the market matures there will be a gradual shift with individuals possessing specialised skills opting for careers as freelancers just as in mature markets."

This section contains Actions Quotes



The great composer does not set to work because he is inspired, but becomes inspired because he is working. Beethoven, Wagner, Bach and Mozart settled down day after day to the job in hand with as much regularity as an accountant settles down each day to his figures. They didn't waste time waiting for inspiration. (Quote by - Ernest Newman)

Deliberation is a function of the many; action is the function of one. (Quote by - Charles de Gaulle, War Memoirs, 1960)

Expect a miracle. Command the atmosphere of expectation with your powerful faith-filled words and daily focused actions. (Quote by - John Di Lemme)

For every ACTION in life there is a RE Action and for every NO ACTION there is NO ATTRACTION to LOVE, HAPPINESS and SUCCESS in your LIFE (Quote by - Mina Tadros)

I know my country has not perfected itself. At times, we've struggled to keep the promise of liberty and equality for all of our people. We've made our share of mistakes, and there are times when our actions around the world have not lived up to our best intentions. (Quote by - Barack Obama)

Life takes action. Pessimists say it can't be done so they do nothing. Optimists say it will be done do they do nothing. Entrepreneurs say IT CAN BE DONE and they take action; thus, things get done. (Quote by - Thomas J. Powell)

What I argue is that if I'm going to be held accountable for my actions that I should be allowed to record... my actions. Especially if somebody else is keeping a record of my actions. (Quote by - Steve Mann)

Action is the last resource of those who know not how to dream. (Quote by - Oscar Wilde)

Who you are is a result of the conscience decisions you make. Actions define a person - not thoughts. So whatever you do, don't get bored. (Quote by - Agent420)

He who has made a thousand things and he who has made none, both feel the same desire: to make something. (Quote by - Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin)

A man who sees action in inaction and inaction in action has understanding among men and discipline in all action he performs. (Quote by - Bhagavad Gita)

Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all. (Quote by - Norman Vincent Peale)

I think the wise course of action, the compassionate course of action, the better course of action would have been to immediately invite her in to the ranch, (Quote by - Chuck Hagel)

Self-worthiness should not be a question but spoken words of our actions. (Quote by - mindy kim)

When a man asks himself what is meant by action he proves that he isn't a man of action. Action is a lack of balance. In order to act you must be somewhat insane. A reasonably sensible man is satisfied with thinking. (Quote by - James Arthur Baldwin)

Success will never be a big step in the future, success is a small step taken just now. (Quote by - Jonatan M�rtensson)

A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions. (Quote by - Confucius)

Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world. (Quote by - Contributed by: George Lewis)

All problems become smaller if you don't dodge them but confront them. (Quote by - William F. Halsey)

Important is the Fed's new predilection that links future rate actions to incoming data. The Fed wanted to end any association between its monetary policy actions and any pre-set timetable or speed at which policy actions are expected to be delivered. (Quote by - Tony Crescenzi)

Decision plus action = results. (Quote by - John Di Lemme)

Action doesn't have to have a reaction. (Quote by - will ormshaw)

Where the stakes are the highest, in the war on terror, we cannot possibly succeed without extraordinary international cooperation. Effective international police actions require the highest degree of intelligence sharing, planning and collaborative enforcement. (Quote by - Barack Obama)

We have the authority to take action, ... But responsible authority means not only being able to take action, but knowing when and how to take that action. (Quote by - Janet Reno)

Your thoughts only tell you what you want, but your actions tell you what you get.

Insults


Yo momma's so dumb when she saw under 17 not admitted sign she went home and got 16 friends
Yo momma's so old one of her pets was on on Noahs Ark
Yo momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone
Yo momma's so poor when your family watches TV they go to Sears
Yo momma's so dumb she passed by YMCA and said hey look they spelled MACYs wrong
Yo momma's so poor people rob her house for practice
Yo momma's so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals
Yo momma's so poor each night she goes to KFC to lick other folks fingers
Yo momma's so dumb she failed a survey
Yo momma's so ugly people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen
Yo momma's so dumb and poor that when I came over for dinner she read me recipes
Yo momma's so poor she married young just to get the rice
Yo momma's so dumb she put on her glasses to watch 20/20
Yo momma's so dumb her shoes say TGIF - toes go in front
Yo momma's so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save milk
Yo momma's so poor she waves an ice cube around and calls it Air conditioning
Yo momma's so poor when I rang the doorbell she leaned out the window and said DING DONG
Yo momma's so dumb I put a ScratchNSniff sticker on the bottom of the pool and she drowned
Yo momma's so dumb I said lets go to the superbowl and she ran and got a spoon
Yo momma's so dumb I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod
Yo momma's so dumb I saw her jumping up and down asked what she was doing and she said she drank a bottle of medicine and forgot to shake it
Yo momma's so dumb I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope asked what she was doing and she said sending a voice mail
Yo momma's so dumb I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it
Yo momma's so dumb I told her drinks were on the house so she went and got a ladder
Yo momma's so dumb I told her I was reading a book by Homer and she asked if I had anything written by Bart
Yo momma's so dumb if brains were dynamite she wouldnt have enough to blow her nose
Yo momma's so dumb it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes
Yo momma's so dumb on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911
Yo momma's so dumb she asked for help to use Hamburger Helper
Yo momma's so dumb she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said Guess so she said Levis
Yo momma's so dumb she asked me whats that letter after X and I said Y she said Cause I want to know
Yo momma's so dumb she asked me Whats the number for 911?
Yo momma's so dumb she can't make Jello because she can't fit 2 quarts of water in the box
Yo momma's so dumb she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W&Ws
Yo momma's so dumb she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got mugged
Yo momma's so dumb she got on an elevator and thought it was a mobile home
Yo momma's so dumb she has to use her fingers for 1 + 1
Yo momma's so dumb she leaves tell tales signs she's been using my computer: white out is on the screen
Yo momma's so dumb she noticed a sign reading Wet Floor so she just did
Yo momma's so dumb she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out
Yo momma's so dumb she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind
Yo momma's so dumb she ran outside with a purse because she heard there was change in the weather
Yo momma's so dumb she reckoned a Quarterback was a refund
Yo momma's so dumb she saw a billboard that said Dodge Trucks and she started ducking through tr
Yo momma's so dumb she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
Yo momma's so dumb she sold her Car for gas money
Yo momma's so dumb she sold her camera to buy film
Yo momma's so dumb she sold the house to pay the mortgage
Yo momma's so dumb she spent 30 minutes lookin at an orange juice box because it said concentrate
Yo momma's so dumb she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go
Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album
Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds
Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet
Yo momma's so dumb she thinks socialism means partying
Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company
Yo momma's so dumb she thought a lawsuit was something you wear to court
Yo momma's so dumb she thought Boyz2Men was a daycare center
Yo momma's so dumb she thought brownie points were coupons for a bake sale
Yo momma's so dumb she thought meow mix was music for cats
Yo momma's so dumb she thought the Board of Education was a piece of wood
Yo momma's so dumb she told me to meet her at the corner of Walk and don't Walk
Yo momma's so dumb she took you to the drive-in movie theater to see Closed for the season
Yo momma's so dumb she uses Old Spice for cooking
Yo momma's so dumb she was looking at a paper and I asked her what you doing? and she said watching paper view
Yo momma's so dumb she went to Disney World and saw a sign that said Disney World Left so she went home
Yo momma's so dumb she went to Gap to fix her teeth
Yo momma's so dumb she went to the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had
Yo momma's so dumb she went to Walgreens to see if the walls were really green
Yo momma's so dumb that when she surfed the internet she put a wetsuit on
Yo momma's so dumb she snuck on the bus and paid to get off
Yo momma's so dumb she tried to steal a free sample
Yo momma's so dumb when I said we were playing craps she went and got toilet paper
Yo momma's so dumb when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home she moved
Yo momma's so dumb when she pulls up to a flashing red light it sounds like Vroom Screech Vroom Screech
Yo momma's so dumb when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put OK
Yo momma's so dumb when the computer said Press any key to continue she couldn't find the Any key
Yo momma's so old her memory is in black and white
Yo momma's so old I looked in her year book and saw jesus
Yo momma's so old one of her pets was on on Noahs Ark
Yo momma's so old she got hieroglyphics on her Driver license
Yo momma's so old she has an autographed bible
Yo momma's so old she walked into an antique store and they kept her
Yo momma's so old she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible
Yo momma's so old she was a waitress at the last supper
Yo momma's so old she drove a chariot to high school
Yo momma's so old that when she was in school there was no history class
Yo momma's so old the candles cost more than the birthday cake
Yo momma's so old when she ran the 100 meter dash they timed her with a sundial
Yo momma's so po she can't even afford the last two letters
Yo momma's so poor burglars break in and leave money
Yo momma's so poor each night she goes to KFC to lick other folks fingers
Yo momma's so poor her front and back doors are on the same hinge
Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house and stepped on a cigarette butt and she said Hey who turned off the heater?
Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house and swatted a firefly and said Who turned off the lights?
Yo momma's so poor I went through her front door and ended up in the back yard
Yo momma's so poor people rob her house for practice
Yo momma's so poor she bounces food stamps
Yo momma's so poor she can't afford to pay attention
Yo momma's so poor she does drive by shootings on the bus
Yo momma's breath so bad she has to take prescription Tic Tac
Yo momma's breath stinks so bad that people look forward to her farts
Yo momma's smells so bad she went to Taco Bell and everyone ran for the border
Yo momma's so cheap instead of buying a fire alarm she hangs Jiffy Pop from the ceiling
Yo momma's so dirty her Sure deodorant is now Confused
Yo momma's so dirty she made Right Guard turn left
Yo momma's so dirty she slowed down Speed Stick
Yo momma's so dirty they filmed Gorillas in the mist in her shower
Yo momma's so cheap she washes paper plates
Yo momma's so lazy she thinks a two income family is where your daddy has two jobs
Yo momma's so lazy she's got a remote control just to operate her remote
Yo momma's so ugly even the Elephant Man makes jokes about her
Yo momma's so ugly her Daddy takes her to work each day so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye
Yo momma's so ugly her dentist treats her by mail order
Yo momma's so ugly hotel managers use her picture to keep away the Rats
Yo momma's so ugly I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application
Yo momma's so ugly I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said Thanks for bringing her back
Yo momma's so ugly kids dress up as her for Halloween
Yo momma's so ugly she gave Freddy Kruger nightmares
Yo momma's so ugly that she went to an ugly contest and they said sorry no professionals
Yo momma's so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie face down
Yo momma's so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies
Yo momma's so ugly they put her face on a milk carton and it spoiled
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Stories Of The Bar Exam Turning Into A Total Disaster

Bar exam preparation can consume grads for months (unless you're this guy). No matter how much aspiring lawyers prepare for the test, though, Murphy's law can wreak havoc on their future plans. BI compiled some of the most painful bar exam horror stories.

1) Power Outage in Missouri


In February 2013, a huge snowstorm hit the Midwest. The Missouri Board of Law Examiners urged participants to "travel with caution" but wouldn't postpone the test, Above The Law reported. Then, the power went out after the morning session. One tipster told the blog they couldn't even hand-write their tests because they were "in the basement of a crappy hotel" that was "pitch dark."


2) Spring Breakers from Hell


A California woman named Shawnee revealed her horror story on a video posted by Bar Exam Mind, a website with tips for the test. Forced to travel far for a testing site, she and some other attorney-hopefuls rented rooms at a hotel for two nights. Little did they know, they'd share the floor with French students on spring break.

"I was so irritated ... there were all these teenagers running up and down the hall being super obnoxious," she said. Pounding techno music kept her awake — even after a sleeping pill. The motel's management failed to break up the party, and she and her fellow graduates were forced find another place to stay.

"After the hotel debacle, the exam itself was really exhausting." she said.

3) Heart Attack Before the Test


One man suffered two minor heart attacks the week before his bar exam, Practical Academic Support Services' (PASS) blog reported. Bob, who failed the exam, ignored the warning signs, writing them off as anxiety and stress. On a more positive note, Bob went to the doctor, got some heart meds, and passed in 2007 on his second try.

4) Labor Pains


One Chicago woman went into labor while taking the bar exam, The Daily Herald reported. Northwesterm graduate Elana Nightingale Dawson, 29, did breathing exercising while finishing the test and then walked a block to the hospital to deliver her son. At one point, she experienced painful contractions only 15 minutes apart.

5) Stolen — Or Lost — Answer Sheets


In 1985, 542 answers sheets for the bar exam at Manhattan's testing center vanished, The New York Times reported at the time. "There is no way to express how wretched we all feel about this thing,'' John E. Holt-Harris Jr. , a member of the examing board told the Times.

Eric Turkewitz, the man behind the New York Personal Injury Law Blog, was one of the unfortunate hundreds. Fortunately, he didn't have to retake his exam. The testing center found his booklet, where he had marked his answers (a great tip). But a lot of other test-takers weren't so fortunate and had to re-do the test.

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